Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Happy Birthday, Carson!: Eight Years of Parenthood

Eight years ago today we became parents. Our rainbow baby, Carson, was born on a Sunday morning just before Sunday School was starting. If you don't know what a rainbow baby is, it is the baby born after a previous loss (such as, in my case, a miscarriage). Like all my pregnancies, the first one was a surprise. I was not planning to become a mother yet, and I was caught off guard. Once I was over my initial shock, I got really excited about it. Unfortunately, well, it wasn't going to happen that time. But that experience showed me just how much I really wanted to have a baby. It changed me in many ways and helped me mature and be ready for the next time. But nothing could have prepared me for this journey of motherhood I am on now. I look at these smiling faces in this picture and barely can remember how blissfully unaware we were of what was to come. Just a few days later we would receive a call that altered our reality, the call about PKU. It was rough at first, but we became pros at the whole diet control thing. Then just a few years down the road we ended up on a totally new path when we found out Carson has autism. Two devastating blows to our rainbow dreams. But here we are, 8 years later, walking hand in hand through this incredible journey with the most precious soul God could have created. I know everyone that knows him well completely adores him. I also know most people only see the best days and the best posts on facebook and the best photos. But please know that our journey is not all sunshine and roses and happy smiles. It is hard. And some days Carson and I both shed lots of tears. The happy smiles and sunshine and roses are what makes it worth the tears and the screaming and the hard times. I just hope that I can help someone else by being honest about our struggles. Hold your head up high and know that you are never alone in whatever you face. God is with us and sends His angels to us when we need them, sometimes in the form of family or friends or a song or even a post on facebook.

Thank you to everyone who has wished Carson a happy birthday today. I know EVERYONE in the whole school knew what today was!! LOL He is the sweetest, kindest, most loving and funniest little guy and I love him to pieces! I am SO proud of all he accomplishes by overcoming his obstacles on a daily basis. I am eternally thankful for all the angels God puts in our path who help him, or as I call them, our "team". We have teachers and therapists and nutritionists and doctors and FAMILY and friends...all who are AWESOME and special to us! God has truly blessed us in every way and given us everything we need to help Carson reach his fullest potential. It isn't easy most days. It has taken hard work to get where we are and that will continue. We are up for the challenge!

Happiest of happy birthdays to my wonderful baby boy Carson Allen!!!